Back From The Dead, Of Sorts. - Lewis

IYER!
I'm finially starting to get better! I don't know if it has anything to do with getting paid today, or that may just be a bonus, as I can't actually go out and spend any of it because I smell and am still in my Pajama's at 13:43 in the afternoon. I am writing this whilst downloading some stuffs which include, the 3 Blade Films, Don't be a Menace to South Central Whilst Drinking Your Juice In The Hood and the first season of 24. As I have never seen it and heard good things about it. I'm downloading all of these LEGALLY of course!
Anyways, about the last week and a half. There really is nothing to say... Apart from the whole Christmas bananza and some of the Anaesthetic dreams I had, I'll go on to talk about them later in the blog...
I got a few hidden Gems for Christmas. Especially since the only thing I asked for was money, to which I ended up getting enough for an iPad without all of my wage. I'm going on the second to go and pick it up, after college. So If you see me, feel free to mug me and take all the money. Proper can't wait to have it. Seriously. S'gonna be great.

So yeah, basically, the only thing I've been able to do is watch television and eat a really small amount of food, which would have been nice because I've dropped a bit of weight, but not over Christmas! Thats when I'm supposed to cross the line from chubby to morbidly obese. I barely ate any of my Christmas dinner and it made me a lil' upset.

My beverage of the day today is Welch's purple grape juice because it helps you poop.

Actually, on the subject of poop, I got really scared after the op, because I realized that I hadn't actually pooped since Monday, It was Friday when I realised this, It plagued my mind for hours and actually made me worry, as I can sometimes rocket 4 or 5 out in a day. I've never not pooped for that amount of time. But finially, I was blessed on Christmas day, by who-other, that Mr Hankey. He brightened up my day, even though it was like giving birth to a large baby.

What did I get for Christmas you ask?!
I got lotsa games from people, which include, Deus Ex, Duke Nukem, Black Ops, Resistance 3 and Saints Row : The Third. But y'alls know about that already yeah?!
I also recieved quite a few books of interest to me. I got a book on 1930's pin-up as it is what I really like and plan to get a masterpiece of one embedded in my skin soon enough. I also received a book on  miniature photography which I love. Then I just got money which was nice.

 I'm thirsty, gotta go refresh that Grape Juice yo.

I'm back, back with a vengeance looking rough as shit. Oh yeah, you may realised those 2 small silver bogeys coming out of my nose... NOPE! T'is a septum piercing yo! I finially told my parents that I'd got it done, they took it quite well actually, either that or they're waiting until I'm recovered fully to shout at me about it.

MMM! This juice is fucking delicious. I think people should go out and try dis' shit.

Ahh yes, the part of the blog where I go into the extremely fucked up dreams that I had when I was still bed ridden with dizzy-ness and nausea.

One of the dreams that I had took part in a swamp. It included the other 2 members of this blog. It was in some kind of fantasy game setting, we all had powers and we were all sat around this swamp-like area, then my next door neighbor came round, and because he is a little weirdo, we all ran off, in the swamp however was a small crocodile/alligator (I don't know the difference between them) Maybe the Crocalator liked the wierdo because it started to rape and kill my neighbor. Which was very very strange. We all then emerged from our hiding places and took our seats back around the swamp, which was wierd in its self because I don't fucking want to be raped and ated by dis' Crocalator motherfucka. Sam then proceeded to go upto the Crocalator and started to spin and do backflips on the strange animal as if it was a skateboard.

I then woke up, threw up a little and went back to sleep. It wasn't until the next day that I actually realised what the fuck I had just dreamed about.

Thats about all I have to say today. So yeah, tune back in soon for another Anaesthetic dream story. I can remember them all.

Bye.

Birthday eve - Sam

Tomorrow is my birthday, and all but one of my friends are 'busy'. Maybe another is free if I'm lucky.
Just to re-iterate, you are all cunts, and no, you won't be forgiven until at least April. At least.

Now that's out of the way lets blog. Hope you all had a good christmas. I got some sweet converse and a new amp, which I've been needing for a while now. It rumbles my floor like a beast.
I haven't heard from Lewis, except I saw some tweets about his sore balls the other day. D'awwh.
Olivers just disappeared. I hope he's been laughed out of town for getting dre beats, an overrated product where you're paying more for the name than the quality. Dre himself as admitted they are still not on standard with Apple tech.
Congratulations, your money went to Dre so he can keep paying child support for his two children with silly names, Truth and Truly, and you have some standard headphones that cost more than vital organs in certain countries.


Unusually, I'm not having a party this year because my dad can be a top class dick when he wants, and he's decided he's throwing a party with a load of his friends for me, instead. I get along with them, but that's not quite how it works. As of this evening, he says not many will be attending that 'party' and now he doesn't see much point in it. Isn't karma great?

I don't have aything else to blog about. So here's this picture I found. Discuss it.

Get well soon, Lewis' balls. - Sam

Poor Lewis and his balls. Let's all have a moment of silence for big ball paul.
...
...
...
Right, anyway then. He can't blog so I will. Today is 22nd december. 3 days until christmas. Unless you're a total invalid you probably know that so I won't rant and rave about it like some festive madman.
Whilst Lewis and Oli are wetting themselves over some film soundtrack, I went and looked into some other music. Primus' new-ish (september) album is jizz worthy. It's a primus album, so it's weird, and it feels really wrong to like it, but when it's this good, I don't want to be right. It's like Les' basslines come straight out of the headphones and into my pants. I don't actually have much to say today so I'm just going to bulletpoint shit.

After several months of nagging, Oli's finally got his haircut. Perhaps this'll cheer Lewjizz up when his balls stop being sore.

I just signed up for the planetside 2 beta because the gameplay looks like the original Halo multiplayer, and they were the days, dayy-yam.

I made the stupid mistake of playing FFXIV again last night. I'm sorry oliver, I just wanted to see if it was any better. It kind of is, but I won't pay for it. I did some boss fight, and the music on the boss fight sounds EXACTLY like This is Halloween from Nightmare before Christmas. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsKv1E-TOqU&feature=related
Skip to 0:34, and I think Tim Burton probably has right to sue. GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
Wait, no. The facebook picture of Oli's hair doesn't look any different at all. What a spazz.

Today wold be the perfect day for me to do all that homework I have to do over the christmas holidays. Sadly, I've got to play Homefront, and then watch The League, Community, the 3rd season of Breaking Bad and the second series of Idiot Abroad first before I can even Think about doing any work. It's such a hard world I live in. *sigh*

Hollywood is remaking one of my favourite books, American Psycho. This pisses me off. Because the film is barely 10 years old, and doesn't need a remake, because A) The book isn't that popular. There isn't going to be a massive market for this. B) The first film didn't do the book justice. This one will be worse. Hollywood will never show scenes like where he stabs the toddler and shoves it in a bin, or when he turns the hooker into a living cage to keep rats in, or when he makes a prostitute meatloaf. My hat is off to them if they do, but until then, this film will be wank.

Oh snap Homefront is finished installing. I'm cutting this blog short. I'm only playing it because Kim Jong Il is dead, and the story is based on him dying and north korea fucking us all up. Which terrifies me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQeQWWKKvq4
sleep tight.

Blog. - Lewis

I'm in an inconsiderable amount of pain. I don't want to blog. That is all.

Ohgawd. Ohjesus. -Lewis

Words cannot describe how much I don't want tomorrow to happen. I really really don't want to go to the hospital ._. Although I will have bid farewell to Big Ball Paul, I will be in such an excruciating amount of pain. That is a place that no man wants to be cut open and played about with. I will try to blog tomorrow, I don't know how much of it will make sense... But I'll try. I've got to be at the fucking hospital for 7AM tomorrow. Thats going to be a ballache, Kick in the nuts fucking task. On the plus side, George came up today and gave me my christmas present. Saints Row : The Third. Words cannot describe... These Screenshots Pictures form my blackberry might though.

Come At Me Bro

DOES THAT EXPLAIN IT?! DOES IT?! Oh my lord. This fucking game. This is going to be my life for the next couple of years. Fucking love it. Its going to be quite a short post. But yeah, I need sleep. BYE.

Drowning in my own filth - Oli

Hello, and no, while that title may sound like a new 'Annotations Of An Autopsy' album, you would be wrong.
It does in fact refer to the state in which i am currently in. Much like Sam i have spent the entirety of my holidays so far staying up way too late playing video games, and as a result i have found my self incapable to think logically at all. (not that i usually do) I even  found I had not moved for so long my drink had gathered dust on its surface. Eurgh.

 I can confirm though that unlike Sam and Lewis, I do not  spend my time running around the house pretending I'm 5 years old again with robotic limbs. Not that i had robotic limbs as a toddler (Although admittedly that would be freaking awesome) and i wouldn't be here right now, more likely id be a super hero, or perhaps more realistically, being dissected in a top-super-secret-Nazi-lab by NAZIS for my super robo powers! *cough* but yes, what a pair of immature babies, they need to grow up..... *puts down cheese and wine*

OH GOD HE'S BACK. 

DON'T GIVE HIM EYE CONTACT.

On another note I'm glad to see that Sam is not being his usual Grinchy self this Christmas; although even I know he'll still end up living underground in the mountains somewhere. Alone. (I'm pretty sure that's where the Grinch lives) Wallpapering his crumbly cave walls with Rashida Jones' Bloody corpse. 

Anyway! on to something less bleak..I rather enjoyed watching sucker punch today, even though i have seen it many times before it never really gets boring somehow.... Which i blame on Snyder's fucking orgasmic action scenes that get me so exited little bits of wee come out. Wee, of which i am still sat in! Hence the title of the blog. Okay maybe that's too far, I'm really not that dirty. Now! back to the point i was going to make. The Music is actually incredible, if you don't already you must go and illegally download buy the soundtrack straight away. Your ears will thank you greatly.

Lastly, in terms of Christmas, i still don't know what i really want so I've asked for mainly moneiz, in the hopes I'll go and buy a 'PSVITA' next year. By that time though I'll probably have changed my mind, as i always do. But still..... look at it....

It's so sexy....

BAI GUYS.

Sad to say I'm impressed? - Lewis

Holy fucking Shitballs Sam. That sounds fucking electric. Electric, just like your limbs.

No, it's not bad to be playing pretend a week before you're 17. I'm nearly 18 and I still pretend that I'm in Mirrors Edge, or SplinterCell, walking around my house with Air Pistol held high, god forbid I run into my step-dad when he's come home from the pub out of his head, or he may be full of lead... Pellets.

Its not bad at all. People like us have all the fun. Anyone else enjoys cheese or wine or some wank like that.

It's my last shift at Morrisons for the new year tonight. Not by any fault of my own. My big ball needs extracting etc. The doctors haven't actually told me if I'm going to be in hospital for longer than a day. I hope not, otherwise my Photography teacher is going to be pissed, as I promised I would accompany him to the Handsworth Morrisons to buy his daughter an xbox with my Discount card.

Again, nothing remotely interesting has happened to me since my last blog. I woke up at 1. Turned on the xBox to find out that my fucking game I was playing last night hadn't saved. (major fucking let down) Because me being the lazy fuck that I am, I don't know if I can be bothered to regain the 3 hours that I had spent doing missions for the 3rd Row Saints, even though it's my favorite game at the minute, games like that are completely ruined when you're xbox decides not to fucking save. Makes me cry D:

For some reason, Oli keeps tagging me in Skyrim pictures. I think he needs to get a bit more of a life. Anyone agree with me? No, oh well, I know I'm right. 

I wonder if I'll be returning to the realm of cheese tonight, I've not been filling my cheese isle for the last couple of weeks, I've been discovering the new wonders of; Eggs, Juice, Bread and Butter. My life is too jam packed of fucking explosive exciting shit for me to be able to sit down and think about stuff. SO JAM PACKED OF BREAD!

Although when I was actually filling bread, I more or less went in to a trance for 4 hours of my life, seriously considering my what options I would have in the Situation of a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE It was wierd. Although I have discovered that the one place I hate more than any other is the place that I would chose to hide in. Morrisons. I really think that that would be the best option. There are 2 gun shops en route to Morrisons from my house, and Morrisons really has everything that you could ever wish to have during a zombie apocalypse. It has food, Meat(which you could let rot and throw at the zombies as a distraction) and a big fuck off warehouse, that you can completely seal off, and repel the zombies major style. 

As I'm typing this, I'm noticing that Morrisons isn't actually a word recognized by the dictionary on my computer, but Zombie and Skyrim are. How bizzarre. 

I don't know if I'm seriously going to start posting daily on this blog, I really don't think enough people like it enough for me to be spamming the shit out of their news feed every day with the blog. I'm not sure. I might just not post it and let people discover it for themselves. I don't know. Comment telling me what I should do. Or text me...

Get the codes, Jensen. - Sam

If you haven't played Deus Ex; Human Revolution, you aren't going to get much of this.

0100 hours. Lewis asks for my WoW account I was giving away.
1400 hours. Found out as I was trying to change the password for lewis that my accounts been hacked. To get it back, I have to answer a security question or find the codes I originally used to activate my account.
I've been playing Deus Ex all morning, and suddenly I've become the augmented cyborg security guard Adam Jensen who defends the world from cyber terrorists. The fate of the world depends on me retrieving those codes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J62O6_5nEAc&feature=related
In my head, this who I was now. It's perfectly fine for somone who is a week away from 17 to play pretend, really.

The first code is under my bed. The other 3 are at my dads house, a two minute walk away. So I get into the role, and put a crombie coat on, and start talking like Christian Bale when he's Batman.
I army crawl under the bed, knocking boxes flying like some sort of maniac having a seizure. I find the first code in an old suitcase I keep papers in. I rush back to the computer, ready to hack the security console get access to my account. The code's scratched, unreadable, and may as well be in heiroglyphics. It doesn't work. ACCESS DENIED.
I run downstairs doing combat rolls, shouting about my robotic arms and some dead woman named Megan. I grab some chocolate bars incase I have to take out any cyberterrorists on the way there. Casually walk to my dads as not to be spotted by sane people who might think I'm mad spies.

I get there and there's nobody in, so it's just like when you break into someone's apartment on the game, except this time I shouldn't and couldn't move their fridge and set grenades off on their couch for shits and giggles. Run upstairs. Kick in my bedroom door with my robot legs, espionage styleee. Some of the codes are missing. I trash the cupboards, find them, and leave inconspicuously, with the fridge still in its place.

Kick in my own door with the robot legs, do some more combat rolls, sneak through some ventilation shafts, move some fridges, blah blah blah... INPUT THE CODES.
ACCESS GRANTED
+450XP
I had waaaayy more fun getting those codes pretending to be Adam Jensen than Lewis ever will actually playing on that WoW account. Just sayin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aoSgBLZ0_s

01:26 -Lewis.

It won't be 01:26 when I post this. But that's what time it was when I started. So that's the name of this blog.

Deaden was just as fucking bad as I remember. I forgot that it looks like it was shot on the iPhone 3Gs. It is such a piece of shit, it makes it a masterpiece in its self. Love it.

I ended up just having a shower, then dicking about on the computer for an hour or so. Eating a dominos, watching Deaden and then playing Saints Row 2 I'm getting the 3rd one for Christmas. I can't wait. Such a good game series.

I'm just counting down the days until I get my iPad. Proper proper excited. Seriously. If you hadn't noticed...

I'm just listening to the latest Wreckless Media Radio. This podcast seriously makes my dick hard. It's so funny. I keep having laughing fits and its making my mouth dry and my tummy hurt. I'm going to go and get some water. Brb.

Hi. I now have water. Mmmmmm.
Glug glug glug. Good old water. It's delicious. Water is always good.

Sorry I went off on a tangent there didn't I? I think that's the sign for me to go to bed. Nighty night all.

No-Face, Godspeed, Jones. Free stuff. - Sam

Lewis posted his blog just as I was writing one, so here's a new one. Skip to the end for free stuff.

This morning I almost shit the bed. Not because I'm incontinent or some kind of invalid, but because;
My bass is on a stand right next to my bed, due to the small African shack-house size of my room. It usually doubles as a hat stand, but I put my coat on it last night. When I woke up this morning disorientated as fuck from 5 hours of sleep, I thought I had some No-Face style shadow thing watching over me. I practically hit the wall. That woke me up more than any kind of coffee possible.

I downloaded more music today. Whilst going through it, I re-found my Godspeed You! Black Emperor! stuff. In the unfortunate event that any of you have ever listened to Godspeed before, then you'll know what I'm talking about when I say it literally does sound like the end of the world. Not in a heavy metal, long haired manchildren shouting about an apocalypse kind of way either. It's 30 minute long songs of dark ambience with broken instruments, bleak strings, little rhythm and depressing samples. It's barely music. I fucking love it.

I should have put Godspeed's Lift you skinny fists... in my #Albumsthatchangedme tweet, because I'd forgotten how hard their music makes me.

I started writing that part to lead into a bit of how listening to Godspeed had reminded me of someone I really, really hate, and ranting about them, but as I've written, I'm not in the mood anymore. Even though you keep trying to get at me through social networking sites, you cuntbag.

Doesn't it just look like a really fucking cheery bag of laughs album.

Since the start of the christmas holidays, I have done nothing. Every night I've had to drag myself to bed at 4am simply because I'm too lazy to even leave my chair to sleep. That's probably really unhealthy, but you only live once. Today I was just such a tramp that I ate a lunch of tea and donuts in a bubble bath. Heaven. Unlike Lewis and his shits discussion, nobody I'm into reads this, so I really DGAF about sharing that. +It's hardly on the same level as chocolate river tummy shames. I need to fill space here to make this blog worthwhile anyway.*

Yesterday I spent all morning watching P&R, all afternoon in bed listening to early White Stripes, considering how hot Rashida Jones is, and if I should wallpaper my room (those two things are not related in whatever creepy way Oli is thinking) Then I spent all night playing DC Universe. It was a strange ordering of the day, and I'll probably repeat it before I have to go back to college.




Hrrrnngh. Wifey 4 lifey.






Also, some people everyone has accused me of being grinch-like. This isn't true at all; This year I'm actually looking forward to christmas and this waiting business is driving me up the wall. Infact I'm so giving this festive season that I'm giving away my old WoW account. 2 level 85s, one alliance one horde, some other accounts, and fair amount of gold on both sides. Get back to me for details and I'll change the password and switch it to your email address. You'll just have to pay the subscription for it. I'm not that generous.

Rargelflarg. -Lewis

What is Rarelflarg you ask? I don't know. It's just a noise I make when I don't know what to call blogs apparently.
Sorry for the lack of posts, I have no means of doing so over the weekend, as my father doesn't have internet and my Wankberry just won't let me post. SO YOU'LL HAVE TO DO WITHOUT. Cunts.
The next two weeks may be the most eventful of my life? I've got my operation on Wednesday, Christmas on Sunday, going to Loughborough on the Wednesday, getting paid/buying my iPad on the Friday and then its New Years Eve on the Saturday. PRETTY FUCKING HECTIC IF YOU ASK ME!

Nothing new has happened this weekend. I pretty much worked, slept and ate. I pooped a few times. One of which reminded me of the river in Charlie and the Chocolate factory... You know what, I really need to stop writing about my Bowel movements, because someone I really like reads this and I don't think it's doing much for my chances.
I think its time to stop writing about my shitz in detail, I think they have run their course.

Tonight Me, My sister, James (Her manchild of a boyfriend) and Big Tall Miserable George are going to get a Domino's and watch a film called Deaden. Possibly the best film known to man. Its about this Drug addict who's addicted to painkillers' wife and kids getting raped and murdered (lol) in front of him. Then the gangsters (or Rapsters, as George refers to them as) shoot him in the head with a Crossbow. NOW, you'd have thought that that would have been the end of the film... NO! YOU, MY FRIENDS, ARE WRONG! HE SURVIVES BECAUSE HE IS ADDICTED TO FUCKING PAIN KILLERS! He then goes to his brothers 'Gun and Motorbike shop/cocaine dealership, Loads up on guns and goes to town on these Rapsters that have killed his family and such.
The acting in this film is really something else. You know when you're watching porn, and they do that shitty little 'acting' piece at the beginning where some kind of printer has broken or some shit like that, and they then go on to Do It. We're looking at that quality of acting people.
Truly. Fucking. Awful.
This film scored a staggering 3.9 on iMDB, my go too for all of my movie needs, thats just 0.5 worse than the new Twilight film... That really shows how bad this film is...
We discovered it late one night on one of our weekly Blockbuster experiences, we watched it through in complete awe of how bad it was, took the disc out of the player, placed it on the floor, stood on it, and proceeded to spin round and round to completely fucking destroy the shit out of it, we then took it back to Blockbuster and demanded our money back, after weeks and weeks of continuously mocking this film, I decided to buy it from amazon, for a shocking 1.99, so we could watch it again before Christmas, we normally watch something like A Muppets Christmas Carol or Elf, but we thought we would all snuggle up and watch this film. I can't stress how much everyone needs to see this film. ITS FUCKING AMAZING.

On the other hand, Is it incredibly fucking pathetic that I've already made a list for the apps I want to buy and Download for my iPad? I really think it is...

Oh well. I can't wait. ITS GONNA BE MENTAAAAAAAAL.

I'm going to go and play Skyrim for a bit before we get pizza and watch John Fallon act his tits off.
But before that I'm gonna go soap myself up as I haven't showered today (ew)

BYE.

I might even grace you all with another blog before I go to sleep. SO STAY TUNED!

Music and that. Maybe it's a two parter. - Sam

For the last week I haven't had any internet. Not even mobile internet.
Yeah, it felt like this.

So I wasted my time playing old games I'd forgotten I had, and listening to some of the backlog of music I had building up. So I'll chat shit about that today.
Oh yeah, inbetween taking copious amounts of Calpol as a recreational drug and playing bass, I have a couple of hobbies. One of them is collecting music. I've got about 15,000+ tracks at the minute. Which to some people isn't much, but this isn't exactly your NOW 69 shit or whatever.
There's no way I can really describe the content without coming off as some hipster douche, so let's just say it's a strange collection. Some of it's rare, even. But it's still all weird. Flowers from the Man who shot your Cousin, anyone? No? Anyone a fan of The Bambi Molesters? No, thought not.

Songs about Fucking by Big Black. Avoid. Recommended for shits and giggles.

Anyway, I caught up on a few albums worth of stuff I hadn't listened to yet. Recommend the Bambi Molesters by the way, actually. Especially the 13 Bullets from the Hip album.

I've had funsies writing about tunes. I don't know if any of this has any place in our blog or with our audience (if we have one) but I feel like doing this more often.
I cut another blogs worth of content from this (that I still might post) because Lewis' blogs currently have the highest views, and they're about his shits and balls. No offense Lewjizz, we all love your balls man.
But I didn't want to be wasting time or space. So I'd appreciate some feedback on where I should take my posts from here, or I'll simply go back to ranting about games and picking on Oli.

@Lewis' blog. I generally agree with your list of top women, except Alyson Hannigan and Hayley Williams. Remove the latter and replace the former with Amber Tamblyn. Top taste in Olivia Wilde too.

And we still need a Singer for this band of mine, Lewis' and Oli's. Currently considering the names The Other Barry Chuckle, or Get in the Van.

Yesterday. - Lewis

I went to the cinemas last night, I was going to blog, but I was too tired and really needed to go to bed.
I needed to go to bed early, as Thursday is usually my lie-in day as I don't have to be in college until half 1. But today was different, Hayley, who is currently sat next to me, was going to have to be in college from 9 to go to a lesson that was at half 1, just like me, So I invited her up to mah house to swap Christmas presents and watch Judge Judy.
One woman was suing her fat friend for tripping over, tripping over something and falling on her dog and killing it. It made me laugh so fucking much it was untrue.
I got some right good presents. I got a Pink Unicorn, who we have ended up calling Charlie.
I also got a right cool box with all these different KeyBlade necklaces. SO FUCKING COOL.
I got 2 new tunnels, one of which has some form of spinner in it that spins when the wind blows though it, I'm going to enjoy wearing that.

Jude Judylol.

I have gotten Hayley some Ugg Boots and a new Purse. Because I'm not very good at thinking up funny things to get. So I thought I could get her something she could use and actually like, apposed to some form of dildo...
Horn on the Cob maybe? Nahh.

Yes. I went to see the new version of The Thing last night, it was a lot better than I had expected it too. Saw The Thing, I'd say, see The Thing, some of the effects are seriously out of this world. Watching 2 men melt together really opens your eyes. There was a lot of guns, splosions and swedish people. My 3 favorite things.

I don't really have much more to say now. Have a nice day. I may or may not be able to blog this weekend, I should do it tonight, and deffoooo tomorrow.

That's Hayley by the way. She gets fascinated by Lillys apparently.

Inbedlol -Lewis

As the title suggests. Well, more of a fact than a suggestion. I am in bed. But why you ask?! Because that science experiment bullshit was bullshit. I thought I could hack it, but sleep has proven otherwise. It has been such a struggle today. Proper over laid. It proved to be more of a challenge than I expected. I found out an interesting thingy about sleep. I say interesting, it could mean stupidly dull. Which is probably what I mean when I say 'interesting'. You should actually have 9 hours of sleep a night. It has been proven that having 8 hours is worse for you than having 9. Apparently you're still in quite a deep state of your REM cycle in the 8th hour of sleep. Providing you haven't woken up to do a shit in the middle of the night. Which, funnily enough, has never happened to me. I wake up, think 'oh. I need a shit, what an interesting turn of events...' then i fall back asleep and go in the morning. It would take a small explosion or some really hot chick to get me out of bed in the middle of the night. Or if I have really bad cotton mouth. That is the worst fucking feeling in the world. Anyways. Where was I? Oh yeah. That thing I was chatting about. The experiment. I've disbanded it. Wait. Is that a word? For the sake, I'm going to say yes. Yes it is. I really thought I was going to be some revolutionary magician man when I thought I would do that. But just 25 hours after, I thought 'meh. Fuck it.'
So yeah. Early night for Lewis.

OH! Big news. I don't know if everyone knows about this, but I have a big ball. Yes I mean ball as in testicle. To which I've been to countless hospitals and doctors to try and find out what's gwarning. At first I went to my GP and he was like 'yeah, I'm referring you to the cancer ward...' which actually made me cry for quite a considerable amount of time. Then I got ultrasounded down there, which, might I add, was one of the worst experiences of my life. It was horrible, not to mention, un-naturally cold.
After all these tests and blood work and shit, I finally got seen by someone at the Hallamshire hospital, I now have gotten my letter back from them confirming that I am going to be having an operation to sort out my big ball. (it's actually called a Hydroseal, but I think it sounds too much like a Pokemon, so I just refer to it as my big ball. Or big ball Paul. Depends what mood I'm in) so yeah. This morning I got the letter saying I'm going to be going under the knife on the 21st of December. At first I was bummed that it was 4 days before Christmas and I wouldn't be able to drink... But then I thought, 'Hey, why not have normal balls for 2012? It'll be a nice change.' so that's the attitude imt taking towards it. I'm glad I won't e missing any college and such.
So yeah. That's been my day today, amongst buying my ill mother some Lilly's. And finishing COMPLETELY wrapping and buying all of y Christmas presents. Today has been a good day.
Comment telling me how your day has gone? Let's get a bit of reader interaction going here!

Oh. What else is fun, I might be high from whatever drug they use on my when I blog that day. So that should be a hoot and a holler.

Have a nice tomorrow.

Hello.

Might as well EH?! - Lewis

As the name suggests, YES! I MAY AS FUCKING WELL!
Yeah, why not post a 3rd blog of the day? Its just going to be me getting a massive erection over iPads and stuff.
I have just bought Season 4 of True Blood and it is currently downloading, that will look beautiful in Hi-Def on MY NEW FUCKING IPAD. Seriously, I can't wait until like the 30th of this month, I'll be iPadding it up yo.
So... This post will more or less be what I have done today, what I will be doing tomorrow, and how much I would totally destroy Anna Paquin.
For those of you who don't know, Anna Paguin happens to play Sookie Stackhouse in the popular TV show; True Blood. Also- all of you non-vampire loving faggots out there, she was also Rogue in X-Men I believe. I'm not sure, maybe I should look stuff up before I go spouting off at the mouth... LOLJK THATS NOT ME! I'M IRRATIONAL AND TALK WITHOUT THINKING! THATS WHY EVERYONE HATES ME!

Yes. Sookie. Ms. Stackhouse. PHWOAR. She is a beauty. She may possible be in my Top 10. Whats that you ask? You want to hear my Top 10?! Well, it'd be rude to not write it now wouldn't it.

1. Summer Glau (Terminator Chronicals, Firefly, Serenity)
2. Mila Kunis (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Black Swan, Family Guy)
3.Alyson Hannigan (Buffy, How I Met Your Mother, American Pie)
4. Olivia Wilde (Tron:Legacy, In Time, Cowboys Vs. Aliens)
5. Hayley Williams (Paramore)
6. Kate Beckinsale (Underworld, Underworld : Evolution, Pearl Harbour)
7. Emily Browning (Sucker Punch)
8. Natalie Portman (Star Wars, Black Swan, V For Vendetta)
9. Anna Paquin (X-Men, True Blood)
... I wished I hadn't decided to do 10, I'm really running out of steam here... I've probably forgotten one of them.
OH!
10. Coral Rooney (My Imagination)
That should be enough now. In my opinion, I think that those are the top 10 (9) best looking female celebrities in media today.
I quite enjoyed that list thing. I may even make it a re-occurring 'segment' in the blog. Maybe I could encourage some reader interaction and get them to decide what list I should do.
ZOMG.
Only like 11 more views until we get to 1,000. Looking at; the time we've been blogging, The quality of our blog and the whole 'OLI CAN'T FUCKING SPELL' aspect of the whole thing, I really don't think that that is a particularly amazing thing to achieve. BUT IT STILL MAKES ME TINGLY. Not like that, just loved.
I like to be loved, I'm like that right scabby neighborhood cat that everyone throws at vans, but really only wants to be loved, and not kicked for being sick in someones shoes.

Wow. That went off on a bit of a tangent didn't it?

Oh yeah, forgot to mention, I've decided to do a little scientific experiment, I've decided that I'm going to limit myself to 4 hours of sleep a night for a week to see if it really is true what they say, 'you feel better on 4 hours of sleep than if you were to sleep for 8' I'm not sure if this is going to work, but one thing's for sure, a lot of artificial energy may be needed. I hope everyone doesn't hate me for being a mardy cunt, Its just I hear this all the time and I really want to see if its actually true or not...

I have IT tomorrow, I actually enjoy it, I sit with Brad, he is lol.

The lecturer also reminds me a lot of a particular Science teacher that I had back in the days before College. The days of Wisewood Comprehensive and Community Sports College. Wow, that was a real shit hole. Serious. The corridors were literally sinking into the ground, it was so dirty, that one of the first days I started there, back when I was just 11, we licked one of those green turtle sweets and jumped and stuck it too the ceiling. That turtle remained there longer that some students in my class. It was very dusty, and there was talk of someone eating it on the last day, that however, did not come about. Which made me a little sad, I can just imagine old Bernie, stuck there, cold, lonely. I feel sorry for Bernie, I might break in and take him back, put him in a little glass pendant and wear him around my neck forever more...

Wow, again with the tangents. I need to stop this. I'm going to be such a mardy bastard all of this week. I apologize in advance. Just thought I'd warn you.
Meanwhile, heres a picture that made me cry with laughter earlier

. I don't know why, This just gets me every time. I think its because its how I imagine mine and Sams imaginary Skype conversations to look like. Thats weird isn't it?

Anyways. I best get back to not sleeping.
Have a nice day guys.

Tatty.

Mediahhh. - Lewis

Yes. As you can probably guess, I'm sat in media. Next to Sam who is just making a complete wank out of a picture he's 'trying to edit' He's making me to just get up and walk away, I feel that that would be crass and rude.
He's trying to read this, unsuccessfully I might add. Oliiiiiiii is still a little faggotmunch.
Nothing new really. VERY VERY close to hitting the 1000 mark. I feel like I should do something special to mark this special milestone... Not sure how, I'd upload a picture of Ainsley, but that's not really special coming from these bloggers.
It has been brought to my attention that Sam is not normally bad at editing photo's, its the 'terrible terrible program'
Yes. Granted, he is using a very old version of the not-so-popular Paint-shop pro, and it is like trying to shave with a bowling pin, but its results can be okay-ish. I managed to fob off all of my lesson time and do everything at home, it seemed to work pretty well, apparently not much even needs changing. Which is always nice.

Thats about all. Sorry this was so boring. I proper ran out of steam.

Im not tired. Why am I not fucking tired?! - Lewis

First of all, this has been bugging me a bit. Guys. When you write blogs, pweesr put your name in the post title. I know it's not necessary, I'm just a massive faggot control freak lololol.

Today, after playing with my sisters boyfriends iPad 2 I have decided that that is the way forward and have really re-considered the whole MacBook pro shizzle. So yeah, I have thus, decided to give my old' reliable iPod touch away and decided to get a big-ass iPod classic. Not sure how I'm going to go about that yet. I'm going to miss you Brenda. Yes, she is called Brenda.y first one was called Viera. Anyone know what that's a reference too? I'll mention it in my next post just too see if anyone is awesome.

I love how I don't actually have Internet at the weekend and I come home to find Oliver and Sam having an all out rage war on here. I would enjoy it more of they advertised the fucking blog on Facebook and twitter but y'know. No one cares what the fatty has to say about things.

Yeah. It's currently 2:44 in the morning. It probably wont be by the time I post it, because I'm not very good at typing on this gosh-darn iPod. I feel like if I stay up any longer, I'm going to start to imagine Brad Pitt and want to start fighting people. I'm really tired. But really cannot seem to stop thinking about things so I can drift off to the land of nod.
I'd I read this back tomorrow and it makes perfect sense I'm going to be so happy I'm probably going to choke on the bun that Sam will have lovingly bought me for Bunday-Monday. A little one time tradition that spawned last week.
Wow. I'm really losing steam here. You know what I could do with? Poking a hipster in a cage. Lololololnewbandthesmithslololol.
Hahaha I'm sorry. I know how mad it gets you. But I don't really care. The argument that you two have been having has made me smile. Moreso than listening to midget porn on my iPod whilst in church.

I don't know Why, but every time I close my eyes, I hear the screams of a thousand burning infants. What do you think that means? I had a sex dream about Misty from Pokemon last night. That was odd to say the least. I woke up remembering that I hadn't enjoyed that dream at all....
Anyways. I think I'm going to try to get some sleep again. Don't know of I'll be successful. We'll see. Who knows? I might wake up with a whole load of skin heads making soap in my living room tomorrow, screaming about some chick named Marla.

Night noo noo.
Much love.
Peace bro.

The last time I'll use this blog to reply to some stupid flip-out.

Hahaha. Nobody would make a claim to be controlling, it's just that me, Ashley and Genna all think that way of you in practice.
This like poking animals in cages. Except this is some really hipster animal that deserves a good taunting for being such a target.
Then it just explodes in a fit of piss-poor grammar, capitalisation and invalidating arguments, flinging shit everywhere.

Oh, and Shakira and even the Scissor Sisters will be a lot more memorable in the future compared to, say, the fucking wombats, thanks to tighter tunes. The sexual preferences of their fanbase majorities doesn't matter. You may as well just go "But you're gay!"; it's a playground argument that reiterated the silly hipster animal shit throwing.
Stay mad broseph~

(Yet another) rant at sam

HOW DARE YOU.
I never claim to be all controlling because i took GCSE music, even though thats irrelevent now as im doing it for A-level. *pissed off face* the only reason im all eurgh! Is because ashley sometimes plays the wrong shit or plays out of time and you know he does. I tell you what to do when im teaching you something. Nob. Ed.(or when you forget it, every week, because you have a fish brain) also, no, youre just afraid of distorted guitar, and i do not turn up all the dials. Last but not least, my music taste does not reek of shit. Its great and is pretty similar to lewis' to be fair after looking at his ipodular device. Just cos you HATE ON ANYTHING NEW OR POPULAR. Go listen to your scissor sisters, HUGH FUCKING LORRY and shakira you totally 'straight' man. /rant over. Good day ^^

Ps: stop spreading more shit about me saying that about 'The smiths' I NEVER SAID THAT. IT MAKES ME MAD. IF YOU SAY IT AGAIN I SHALL GRIND DOWN YOUR KNEE CAPS WITH SAND PAPER YOU WHORE. YES I MAD BRO.

Sam's saturday shenanigans

Hurray, alliteration.
Just finished eating a chinese. Not a person of course, the police have told me I'm not supposed to do that anymore. That shit was delicious.

Earlier today Oliver suggested that me and him should take a break from the project we're working on currently to jam with Lewis, and possibly form a band with him, depending how it goes. I play the bass, Oliver plays the guitar and Lewjizz the drums. I don't know how the other two feel about this. But quite frankly, the idea scares the shit out of me.

First of all, we're all full on lunatics. Anything we make will turn people's brains into liquid shit. The kind Lewis tells people about in blogs. Secondly, Oliver becomes a control freak near instruments, because he took Music GCSE, and apparently this qualifies him more than anyone, even though his personal music taste reeks of shit, and he thinks playing distorted is turning every dial to the max. Am I being more than passive aggressive yet? We've had plenty of arguments in practice rooms over this. He just loves that new band The smiths he does. Thirdly, we'll also need a singer. And it seems obvious that the combined presence of all 3 of us at once turns other people insane. Some people have even reported seeing Lewis' imaginary friend "Coral".
Whatever happens, we'll keep you posted here. Mitebcool.

Lewis' blog reminded me how good Oblivion was and how boring Skyrim is now I've raped it to completion. So I reinstalled it with all the expansions and a couple of basic mods and goddamn, its better than I remember, regardless of what he says. But the man has a point. Older games don't necessarily age. I think that's because we recognise them as old games with timeless mechanics like 2d platforming, but we see games like oblivion simply as modern games with aged mechanics. It works on the same principle level of why I can replay the SNES' Megaman X* several times and hail it as a masterpiece, yet playing early PS3 launch titles makes me want to projectile vomit.

*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FpigqfcvlM 5:12 onwards. 15 minutes of why Megaman X is one of the best games you will ever play.

That's all I have to say for tonight. If you stuck with reading this all the way until the end, here's a comforting picture of a cat kneading dough to make it worth your while. Night!

Oblivion Can Suck My Big Ball - Lewis

IYER!
I'm sat at my computer freezing my tits off. I'd go down and sort the heating out... If I actually knew how too. For some reason, in the winter, my room and the study (Which is where I spend all of my time) Are the coldest fucking places, but when Summer comes around, they turn into some kind of magical mystical sauna of cock sweat and mashed potato...
No, not that at all, but the point is, it gets so mother fucking hot it makes me want to harm people... Seriously.

About the title of the Blog. I've been playing Skyrim more. It re-lit my love for Bathesda, so I whipped out my copy of Oblivion (Which I had to get back off of my friend who was being totally unreasonable) Popped it in the PS3 and was instantly dissapointed with what I was experiencing. I seriously forgot what Oblivion was actually like, in my head I always remembered it to be an amazing, beautiful looking, smooth all-round decent game... Boy. Was I wrong? Yes. Yes I was.
I'm even a little upset to be honest, has this ever happened to you? You've loved something for a while, you forget about it, then go back to it and it just sucks so much dick you just want to pour boiling hot Baileys down your Urethra? I have. Its blistered, but on the mend...
Oblivion sucks so much dick it's untrue. I actually tried to like it when I was playing it today... It didn't happen. I obviously could have loved it all that much, because all of the games I grew up with and loved are still amazing to me! Example, MarioKart, Zelda, Kingdom Hearts, Timesplitters and even mother fucking Crash Bandicoot. I think I got blinded by some kind of RPG monster. I may have only liked it because it was the first RPG I ever played? I dunno, I'm just really dissapointed.

ON THE OTHER HAND.
(Not to offend all you Thalidomides out there)
SUPER POKEMON RUMBLE IS FUCKING AMAZING! Thats Pokemon Rumble Blast to all you Non-UK peeps. Oh my god, I love everything about it. It reminds me very much of that mode in Tekken where you walked the streets and beat the shit out of random people? When you picked up health it screamed CHICKEN at you.
Oh. Its so good.
Totally worth $35

I had an absolute horrible night last night. Work was so fucking dull and boring it just made me want to cry. However, coming home, playing a bit of MarioKart and talking to Sam, whilst pooping and bathing made me feel a lot better. Especially when he sent me pictures of him pooping and in the bath... Not at the same time, that would be wierd....
So, as I normally do when I'm in a bad mood, I resorted to Twitter. Shouting at everything and everyone, where I got confronted for saying the word 'Cunt' I don't know if you've ever had a conversation with me, but people who get offended at what I say make me wanna cut them up big-style. Whats the point in getting offended? Seriously, "Oh, thats really offended me"... AND?! Fucking deal with it yeah? Jokes are funny. Anything can be made fun of, people who laugh at one thing and get upset at another seriously just need hanging from a really tall mans toe... Wait, no, that doesn't make sense... Either laugh at everything, or nothing at all... Otherwise you're just a Hypnotoad-- Oops, I mean Hypocrite.

Going to go lather myself up now. Need a shower BIG TIME! Might snap a few pictures for you sammy boy. <3
Have a nice night everyone. I would really appreciate it if you followed us using twitter and retweeting our blog stuff. Would be nice for meeeeee :D

TATTYBYEBYE.

See. I didn't actually make that up....

Friday, friday, gotta get dow- NO.

Sam here. Early finish at college is beautiful. 9:00-10:30, then straight back home for tea, bed, and jeremy kyle. Classy.
"My fiancee had her leg amputated and now she's scared I'll leave her."

Well go right ahead, she's barely going to run after you. It's that silly bints fault for blood clotting her leg with too much heroin.
Shiiiyyttt, they're bringing Graham out. Shit just got real. Haha, Jeremy just referred to Graham as just G. Gangstaaaa.

Today, Ellen mentioned again that she thought I was in my twenties.Why!? How would you think that!? Not sure whether to be flattered I look mature or offended that I look like some weirdo who hangs around with 16-18y/o's. Unbelievable bitch.

In Lewis' blog he told me to stop playing World of Warcraft. However, I've been clean for 6 months now, so go finger yourself. And there are no known framerate issues on the xbox. Other than that, I found Lewis' blog generally agreeable and appetizing, so I don't have anything to say to it for once. Yum yum.

Oli's on the other hand. Where do I begin. A whole Jamie Oliver Tv Channel? TAKE ALL MY MONEY. FUND IT.
Jamie as an Xfactor judge? DO IT. He probably knows more about music than Tulisa, and even his spitty lispy fat tongued speech has to be less annoying than Kelly Rowlands "DAAYUM GURRRRLLLL *incomprehensible ghetto praise*" NO. YOU ARE NOT IN THE HOOD. WE ARE NOT YOUR HOMEGIRLS.
And I agree that people should stop posting about these things online as they happen. If I was interested in watching it, I would.
I do, by the way. One of my more normal guilty pleasures. But still, nobody else wants to see that shit. If you post about it, you need to get off the internet right about now.

Last but not least, to cover the gayming shit, @ Oliviéh;
"Besides, you cant deny that the UI was so totally built around consoles so suck it and go crai that bethesda no longer 'lav yow PC long teim."
Wrong, nancy-man. PC has earlier release priority on patches, updates and expansions unless someone else makes a moneyhz bid for it similiar to COD's map pack event and the simplified menu's are a result of complaints about Oblivion's menu functionality on the consoles. Skyrim's menus are to ease cross compatibilty, and whilst they're not PC optimised for obvious reasons, I have realised that they are a lot quicker on PC due to clicking.

Oh, and the game itself actually does run faster on PC, thanks to a more accessible and generally larger memory pool. So go climb a wall of dicks and sort your spelling out, you fuckmook.

Judge Jewdy. - Lewis

Oli. If you want me to continue letting you post on this blog, I strongly suggest using at least a Y5 level of spelling and grammar. Seriously, it's getting un-readable.
Gary is spelled with one R by the way, just thought I'd let you know.

Does this frame-rate thing happen on the XBox aswell?

Anyways, I think that they best thing that is on British TV is Judge Judy. She is my favorite Jew. I just thought that I would throw that out there, completely agree with everything that Sam has said about they're just the cases that real courts would laugh in the face of. Its just a bunch of tight people that want to make a bit of extra money over stupid fucking causes, for example, the last time I watched it, I had some kind of Diarrhea disease. I was watching a really fat, ghetto-Assed black woman shouting at Judge Jewdy because she didn't give the case to her. What had happened was; This black woman went to this random Hairdressers and got a weave, and it was shit basically, and she was suing this man for $60. Judge Jewdy was having none of this though, she went on about how she got a perm once and it was shit, she didn't do anything about it, and just brushed it out or some shit. The black woman was still not happy so she kept interjecting, so Jewdy just screamed 'GEROW UP!' and she stormed out of the courtroom. It was fucking amazing.

I'm in Potatography. Just chillin'. Writing a blog. Boothing.
I've joined yet ANOTHER social network. I have an Instagram or something, is that even what its called? Yeah.

I don't really know what else to write. I played Skyrim last night for a couple of hours. I just beat that Dragon and now I can shout bare loud. S'all good in the hood. Haven't even begun to scratch the surface doe. I'm looking forward to seeing where this game goes. I'm quite surprised that I haven't resorted to a walkthrough. The thing I really love about this game is that you can just aimlessly walk around for a couple of hours killing random things and still feel acomplished even though you've just wasted quite a large portion of your day, and collectively, your life. I'll never forget when my sisters ex-boyfriend typed in /time into WoW when I was there. 267 Days. That's seriously a long fucking time. Serious waste of time. It doesn't make you a better person... Ever. Yes Sam. I think you should stop playing WoW and do something more productive, like play new games.

Oh! I just remembered something that you put in your last blog about the Star Wars game! I know its cost a lot to do and shit, but I've seriously heard not one thing bad about it, but then again, I haven't actually looked on the internet about it, just word of mouth as quite a few of my friends had applied to be on the beta and such. Urm, yeah, I think that I'm going to invest in that, play that instead of getting obsessed with WoW again when I get my new Macbook Pro. Don't give me shit for getting a Macbook Pro. I know they're overpriced, I just want one. So Shush.

I don't really know where this blog is going, I think we broke the 1,000 mark. I'm not sure, maybe.

Urm...

Going to go and earn some money tonight, stacking cheese yo'.

I think that that will be all...

BYE FUCKS!

Tatty hello.

Its oli.
I rather enjoyed reading sams last blog, and his lovley use of the word 'rupture' which made me mess my self with happiness.
And in responce to the skyrim thing, yes, i heard about that issue on ps3 but it seems that as im using the cloud feature to save data online i havnt been affected by this... Besides, you cant deny that the UI was so totally built around consoles so suck it and go crai that bethesda no longer 'lav yow PC long teim.' although that said i would prefere to play it on my pc, but recent issues (it blowing up) have left me without my beloved computer.

Back to normal things, (and thats as normal as our blogs get) i do agree with sam, which is rare (winky face) about jezza kyle being one of the best things on the picture box. There's simply no denying that its pure entertainment, and is watched by (mostly) normal people in which to laugh at other peoples shitty problems in order to feel better about their own.

Anyway! Enough of that!

If there's one thing that makes me rage every. Fucking. Year. It's that time when both 'X-Factor' and 'I'm a celeb' come on TV and despite my dedication to avoid these shows at all costs in fear of garry barlow brain washing me or ant and deck making me watch one of the only shows they have left. Infact in all honesty, i would NOT be surprised if jamie oliver was a judge on next years Xfactor, cos hes a TOTAL MEDIA WHORE. GO COOK SOME FOOD YOU WHORE. MM SAINSBURYS GIVE ME YOW DOLLAH, MMM BOOKS! MUST RELEASE MORE BOOKS. infact he has so many bloody shows on tv im suprised they dont have a whole bloody channel dedicated to him. Hells bells. Anyway, back to what i was saying. What really grinds my gears is when every fucker posts about these shows on facebook. Over. And over. And over. And- yeah you get the point. It wouldnt even be as bad if they stated their opinion about a certain topic of the show but seeing 'oh no (insert name here) has left !!! :( i laved dem, omg look at beyonces ass' SIXTY TIMES. makes me want to punch these cunts. Noone gives a fucking shit.

Anywho.

Gonna go play my video games.
And talk to myself like morgan freeman.

Good day.

Thursday.

Sam here. I'm not at college today. I'm not at college today for reasons I'm not going to go into here with you fucking milk-drinkers. But it does partly involve the insides of my head looking and feeling like mashed potato.
So I'm going to blog my balls right off.
Right now I'm watching Judge Judy because Jeremy Kyle doesn't come on for another ten minutes. There's a woman suing her own neice for some spare furniture that she sold her ten years ago, but wants it back and there's medical marijuana involved somewhere. They only go on Judge Judy because this shit would be laughed out of a real court. So instead they put it on telly, so everyone else at home can laugh it out of a pretend court.

Jezza's on. I seriously regard it as one of the best things on television, in a deeply intellectual way you can't possibly understand or it'd rupture your body into hundreds of pieces. A social study of the sludgy bottom of the gene pool. As a child I once fell into a duck pond, and my feet sunk into a foot of pure duck shit. That's Jeremy Kyle.

There's an average looking woman who's saying that her normal looking (by Jeremy Kyle standards) boyfriend had sex with her sister. Her sister has the tiniest eyes I have ever seen. This bitch looks like Woll Smoth. And she only has her two front teeth. Proper beever style. Classy.
The only evidence that the woman has that her boyfriend has cheated, is that he smelt of sex.
Considering how feral everyone on this show looks, I really wouldn't be surprised if their strongest sense is actually scent.

Back to the smelling of sex thing, this poor bloke's defending himself.
"Ye, but, am reyt clean, always clean mah bits n pieces n' dat."
Well done. No, really. Congratulations. You just made my breakfast leave my mouth and you're nowhere near me.

And because it seems pretty standard to include some gaming news in our blogs, everyone normal can tune out now:
When your Skyrim save file reaches 10mb+ on the PS3, the game drops to 1-8 fps. Todd Howard of Bethesda softworks has begun to admit this problem, but still won't come clean that it has existed since oblivion, and throughout fallout 3 & NV. Hahaha console player casuals. You have fun with that now Oliver.

And it was recently revealed that Bioware have spent $135 million on the Star Wars online game, which makes it possibly the most expensive game ever made.
And everyone I know who's played the beta,
says it's shit.

Now I'm going off to watch Parks & Recreation and procrastinate. Cool.
Tatty Bye.

An Update 'n' Tingz. - Lewis

HEYHIHELLO!
I'm actually in quite a good mood to be honest, I don't know why, maybe because i'm going out tonight? For the first time in a while, currently sat in a Photography lesson, watching a video of the happiest fat man alive, and he hits his disabled brother with a lightsabre. Seriously, watch this now. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0FiIJXfoK8
This seriously will make your life complete.
Oh yeah, onto the update, Skyrim came on monday, as did the new MarioKart. I worked last night which I wished that I had not, as I am reyt fucking tired now. (Those of you not from Sheffield, Reyt is just us saying 'Right' with an accent. I just thought i should clear that.) I'm going to play Skyrim for a good 8 hours tonight, I've decided, since I'm not at college until 1. Which is nice. So I'm gonna play Skyrim and MarioKart until I can no longer physically hold my eyes open. Then go to sleep and wake up all nice and refreshed.
My Boyfriend, Sam, sent me a picture of him doing a shit last night. It made me laugh so hard a little bit of wee may or may not have come out. You know who didn't appreciate the picture Sam? Hayley, I showed her and she commented on your facial expression, Why're you so angry Sam? Why? Who hurt you?
I love you baby.
I don't really know what else to update to be honest. We just hit 750 pageviews which is pretty cool, I hope people keep reading.
Its wednesday today.
True Story.
BUBBAI.
Lewis.

Night time tingle times - oli

Yes, i spelt my name with only the one 'i' there lewjiz, i hope your happy!
As of the moment i write this, im laying in my bed after playing skyrim for the best part of 4 hours tonight, something of which i am not proud....
Although i have just joined the dark brotherhood and theives guild (HARAAH) for those who don't have the shittest what im on about, in the words of lewis, "go finger yourself" (Y)

By the title of this blog you may come to the conclusion i am infact stimulating my genital region in order to acheive the greatest pleasure, but you would be wrong, i am simply very cold from the lack of heating... Which makes me tingle...In the night ...in my pants what?... You dirty bastards.

Anyway! Today was pretty cool, i had media with ma' brosefs. Bromos. Brohemian rapsodies. Bromo baginses
Brohoes. Brotatoes. Bro-ke back mountain- yeah i'll stop there. But it was cool, we all wore pretteh' cool hats and that...... Lewis hit me. It hurt. I cried later on over it. I wish he loved me. ' i just best get what i want and noone will get hurt' O.O god that polak in our glass has issues, although not as many as sam, sam the old man that ellen thought was twenty odd! LOL!

Just noticed its mainly lewis posting on this blog, thats dedication that, when he's not stacking cheese, he's entertaining the masses, or he should be! FOLLOW US YOU TOTAL FUCKING BASTAR- err.. Beautiful people... :|

Anyway, must be off! Eyes are starting to droop, like sams tail when he discovers his fresh meat has already hit puberty. Even as a young boy, he resembled a future sex offender. Glad to see he's striving ever closer to that lifestyle.

Ps: lewis bought us all buns today cos' its 'bunday monday' or something like that, i forget. But because of this i shall take him to my love shack and mess him up fun time. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa- dios. ;)

Wow. -Lewis

Jesus fucking Christ. Today has been one of the longest days of my life. It has also been one of the worst days of my life. Nothing about it has even been the slightest bit good or gone my way. If you don't like reading people moan, I suppose you better just close this page and go finger yourself.
Ugh. Where to start? Maybe last night? Where I just couldn't sleep whatsoever despite the fact that I had been working for 8 hours. Finial got to sleep at about half 1. Then I had to get up. At half fucking six. To get into fucking work for 8o'clock in the fucking morning. Nothing about work was good. I'm used to working in the fridges. Not the fucking other end of the shop where it's too warn to think stacking bread and getting constant abuse from random cunts because the dates aren't quite as long as they would like. What the fuck is wrong with some people? Seriously? It's like they just go out of their way to be a massive cunt and piss you off. I don't really give a fuck of there isn't any fucking Warburtons. We close in half an hour and it's a fucking Sunday so we dont even get a fucking delivery. Make fucking do you pretentious piece of shit. I also did a shit that resembled oil within the first hour of working. That wasn't pleasant. You know what else wasn't? The fact that someone had ills the toilet with paper and then done a shit on top of it so it looked like a fucking birds nest.

I'm going to the hospital tomorrow to get groped again ready to have my flight bollock cut open. Fucking life isn't right good at the moment y'know. So if you have a bit of a bad day. Just think. It could be worse, you could be me.
I'd say have a nice evening but mines already going to be wank so I don't really care to be quite frank.

My feet fucking stink. Going to go get naked and wet now. I might post tomorrow. Probably not...

Work -Lewis.

I just got back from work. So fucking tired. Listening to the latest Wreckless Media Radio whilst pooping. Yes. That's right. I'm talking to you from the porcelain throne. Boy buddy this poo is meaty. I think it's because of that triple whopper meal I had yesterday.
Actually can't wait for tomorrow. I love media now I've met people I actually like.
Yes. That's you Sam, Oli, Coral, Sam. Not Ellen though. She always steals my seat and makes me cry inside. If she gets my seat tomorrow I'm gonna flip the fuck out.
Can I just comment on the headphones that I have now? They're big and green and the bass on them makes my insides come out of my arsehole. Skrillex on these bad boys makes my dock hard.
That is all for tonight.
Apart from the fact ive just been paid 600 pounds for stacking cheese. I fucking love my life at the moment /') have a nice night y'all :) I'll blog tomorrow in media most likely. Depends if I have the resources to do so. If not I'll do it at about 2 before I fuck off to work again.
BUBBAI.